Job Well Done (mostly)

My kids are definitely doers - they're always doing things. Most times, those things aren't directed toward any particular purpose, but at times, the tasks they choose actually contribute to the overall functioning of our home. I've been reading a book (an amazing feat in and of itself!) entitled Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement and it's really got me thinking about how to make sure I'm raising my children so that they are able, at some point in the future, to take care of themselves.  I've realized that I'm guilty of stepping and taking over their tasks for them if I think it's not going quite like it should or if it's just taking longer than I have patience for. The problem is, this isn't helpful to them, in the long run. However, the other thing I've realized while reading this book, is that my kids really do know how to pull at least part of their weight when it comes to household chores. For example, my son, Hayden, is my go-to guy. I can ask him to do pretty much anything around the house and he's up for it, whether it's making a sandwich for a sibling, sweeping the floor, or fixing my internet connection. He's always been very proud of his accomplishments in this arena...

At age 5, Hayden decided it was time to learn how to do laundry, so he gathered up the dirty clothes...

and made his way carefully downstairs.

He sorted...

and lifted...

and stuffed the washing machine.

Putting soap in required a bit of a climb.

Oops! Forgot something in the bottom of the hamper!

He followed my instructions for turning the washing machine on.

The best part...he really knew that he had accomplished something phenomenal!

This little laundry experiment set the bar pretty darn high for Hayden and for his younger siblings. They can all clean floors, empty the dishwasher, wash, fold and put laundry away, clean bathrooms (and clean them well), and do most any household task I set them to...including windows! My kids may not grow up to be brain surgeons or rocket scientists, but they will most definitely be able to stay clean and take care of their homes!

The Power of Causing a Pause

                 

So, I've started something new at our house called "Cause a Pause." Let me give you a little background about why we needed it and then I'll explain what it is. When you homeschool three kids and have a toddler (the baby in this picture) there are 5 people occupying your home pretty much 24/7 and it takes it's toll on said home. I found myself trying my hardest to be teacher, mom, chef, and the maid and it just wasn't working. Since I can't relinquish my jobs as teacher, mom, or chef (although I'm working on that,) I decided that since the little people in my home are making the majority of the mess, they needed to contribute significantly to cleaning up those messes. After all, it's their home too and they should feel some sense of stewardship over it.  Over the years, I've taught them how to complete many different household tasks and they've been pretty good about getting them done, but usually not without a certain amount of grumbling or whining. What to do, what to do?

Then, I got the idea one day to have the kids stop what they were doing and have them help clean up. Usually when I do that, I get complaining, whining, and "just a minute, Mom." This time, I announced loudly that I was "causing a pause!" Then I told them the rules: 1)Cause a Pause only lasts for 30 minutes, not one second longer. After that no one is allowed to continue cleaning. 2)There are no specific jobs assigned and the entire house is included in the effort. If you see something out of place, pick it up and put it away, even if it doesn't belong to you. If you see garbage, throw it away. If you see dirt, clean it. If it needs to be vacuumed, vacuum it. If it needs to be swept, sweep it. 3)No talking (i.e., arguing, debating, bossing around, etc.) during Cause a Pause, it wastes time and we only have 30 minutes! 4)Bennet is exempt from participation unless he chooses to because we'd waste the entire 30 minutes trying to convince a three-year old to help. 

So far, we've tried this a couple of times and I've been really amazed at the results! I usually tackle the kitchen while the kids go to it and I'll cheer them on from there, shouting words of encouragement, telling them to "hurry, hurry, hurry! We only have 10 minutes left!" I let them know when the 30 minutes is up and give them all high-fives. The house looks fantastic and everyone, though a little tired and sweaty, has a smile on their face and a feeling of accomplishment. 

The "Cause a Pause" doesn't replace everyone's regular chores. Ellie and Madsen still have to put the clean dishes away, empty the garbage, and clean the downstairs bathroom. Hayden still has to scoop the catbox, mow the lawn, and help with the kitchen. Bennet still has to put a detergent packet in the dishwasher and start it. And I still have a bunch of chores too. However, I think this will put a big dent our constant state of clutter without all the whining and complaining.

I Have to Keep Telling Myself it's Worth It

I usually begin my days with a somewhat enthusiastic attitude toward the lessons I'll be trying to teach my children during our school day.  I go over the schedule for each child, I pull all the materials each one will need to complete their lessons, I take a little "me time" to focus my thoughts in a positive direction and say a little prayer, I make sure everyone is fed and clean, and I take a deeeeeeep breath.  Then, I call the children into our schoolroom and that is the point at which all good plans seem to slowly (or sometimes, not so slowly) begin to fall apart. That's not to say that we never stay on schedule or that we rarely accomplish all of that days scholastic tasks - that happens frequently enough for the children to have established an expected routine to their school day.  Sometimes, we have a bad mood to cope with, especially when one of the children has neglected to eat breakfast (after repeated reminders from me.)  Sometimes, it's a busy three year-old brother that has his own plans, frequently including a great deal of various noises, verbal and non-verbal.  Other times, we have anxieties to address - trying to help my kids realize that they really do know the answers they're being asked to find and they don't need me standing over their shoulder verifying each correct answer as they go.  Most of the time, it's a flat out refusal by one certain child to engage in anything remotely resembling something educational...especially reading and writing.  We've been at this homeschool thing for a while now - we are beginning our 7th school year in a couple of weeks.  And yet, I'm always amazed at the creative ways my kids have come up with to derail themselves on any given school day.

I frequently question my methods, my abilities, and my decision to take on this huge undertaking in the first place.  I think I've felt probably every negative emotion a parent and teacher can feel.  I've even gone so far as to price private schools.  And yet, there are those rare moments when I'm given a gift from my children...catching them reading a book for fun, looking up interesting facts about science on the internet, one sibling helping another figure out the instructions for a game, writing down a shopping list for Grandma, typing up some favorite recipes to give to a friend...the list could go on and on.  We have our share of "a-ha" moments and it's very exciting to see that light go on behind their eyes when a foggy concept crystallizes.  Those are wonderful moments in the classroom.  It's wonderful to be able to see measured progress.  But it's at those times when I see them doing real-life things that require applied use of knowledge they've gained in our little homeschool classroom that remind me that all the struggle, for all of us, is completely and utterly worth it.

Life in a Box

You know those plexi-glass boxes you sometimes see on tv - the ones that they put a person in and turn on a fan. All of a sudden, dollar bills are flying everywhere and the person in the box is grabbing desperately in all directions at once, trying to snag as many of those flying dollar bills as possible? Lately, that's what my brain feels like - all kinds of random thoughts flying around my head, blown around by some invisible force, and I'm trying my darndest to grab as many as I can so that I might be able to finally put them in some kind of reasonable order.  Maybe it's just the fate of a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of four. I just don't seem to have the time or energy to complete one thought before I have to be off to the next one.  It's actually amazing that I've been able to write this much with only four interruptions from various other people currently living in my house.  And that's the extent of what I have to say...I feel completely different thoughts coming on...